10 December 2009

Dear Santa -- Please send cash

Dear Santa -- Please send cash

By Nicole E. Avery
GVL Columnist

I've managed to stay pretty jolly this school year and remain in the holiday spirit even though everyone else's professors canceled their classes this week.

I have been inspired by my wonderful mood, and I've decided to share my would-be list to Mr. S. Claus -- if I were still 9 and hadn't had my belief in folklore squashed out of me by hateful Grinch-like non-believers.

I would only ask for one thing, because I wasn't raised to be greedy.

I want the government of Michigan to give me a huge sum of money for the distress I would have had, if I had been forced to pay back money from the Michigan Promise award to Grand Valley State University.

I'm sure you're wondering why I should get any money. Nothing physically happened to me. My life hasn't been drastically changed. In fact I haven't been affected at all, but I was distressed when I heard about my fellow GVSU students having to pay back that money and someone should pay for the inconvenience I had for being so distressed.

Wait a minute before you start to judge me, let me explain where I got the idea that I should be compensated for my feelings when they are severely unpleasant and upsetting.

Between Thanksgiving and now I have read numerous stories about people who have sued our government for compensation for their emotional distress.

I'll share with you the one I found on redorbit.com that impacted me the most.

Lucille Greene is an 88-year-old grandmother who spends the month of November making more than 30 fruitcakes as her Christmas presents to her closest friends and family. Upon arriving at the U.S. Post Office to mail her fruitcakes, the postal worker accused her of being a terrorist.

This comment led to the horrendous heckling of other nearby workers and customers. In attempts to prove her Caucasian ancestry, she was overcome by emotions, fled the office, tripped over a concrete parking barrier and fell chipping her tooth and breaking her glasses.

Just two weeks ago a judge dismissed her appeal for $250,000 compensations because she had a prior eye condition and couldn't keep her testimony straight.

For shame.

I read this and now a stand needs to be made. That woman was an honest citizen, trying to send out holiday fruitcakes and those blue-collar workers accused her of being a national threat. Greene is old and shouldn't be made to process her emotions rationally. She's an oracle of our society and should not be expected to have a young, whipper-snapper sense of humor.

Even though the courts denied her claim eventually there will be one successful case -- and it only takes one.

I hope you will join in my cause and sue the state government that couldn't afford the Michigan Promise for all they've got.


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