Bad dancer but good bacon provider

Bad dancer but good bacon provider

By Nicole E. Avery
GVL Columnist
4/18/2010

Never in my life have I seen anything as awkward as Kate Gosselin lumbering across a dance floor. I was sucked in to watching "Dancing with the Stars" again this season -- similar to the other thousand viewers -- due to ABC's promised star lineup. Even if Kate doesn't have her dance routines figured out yet, she definitely has the role of a good mom down pat.

I was first "introduced" to Kate via her TV show on TLC, "Jon and Kate Plus 8," and frankly I didn't like her. She barked orders to her husband and was impatient with her children.

As I watched episode after episode, Kate's need for order and neatness was her worse offense to me. This was probably because I'm a junky myself -- don't worry, readers, I've taken the necessary steps to put my disorderly past behind me and I have been clean for one semester now.

Later while watching "Extra," I would find myself even more displeased and scrunching up my nose at the TV when I saw the "Extra" edition announcing Kate to appear as a dancing sensation on "Dancing With the Stars" -- how can she be a mother when the show is taped on the other side of the country?

Before I judged her too harshly -- since we're in the era of Obama and diplomatic thinking -- I put on my mom hat and really thought about what it would be like to have 8.5 children. (I counted her ex-husband Jon as half a child because he's always either having a mid-life crisis or a tantrum) After thinking about it what I realized was that eight kids is eight more than I'd ever want. Kate has to be the way she is in order to maintain any kind of sanity.

I never use to believe this, but moms really don't harp just because they want to. Kate wasn't nagging her husband and strict with her kids because it was fun, she did it in an attempt to maintain some kind of method to get what was needed done.

Even though we live in much more liberal times, we still have this mentality that when a woman has children she needs to be home with them -- period. Our society is especially strict on women who have children any age younger than their middle to late teens. We expect moms to be moms and that means self-sacrifice to the fullest, and a lot of people think Kate should be home raising her children.

But here's another side to this argument. The Gosselins made their money from their original TV show and Jon's job as a computer technician. The show's success made it possible for them to move into a bigger house -- which they needed and deserved.

We've got to remember that the flip side to having more money is that you generally spend it and that gives you larger bills. After the divorce, their finances drastically changed and the novel and TV appearances are a way for Kate to support her family.

We can throw stones at Kate for her being away from her family if we'd like, but she's doing what a single mom should be doing -- working.

The bacon doesn't bring itself home.

navery@lanthorn.com

Will Never Be

Will Never Be

I will never be white?
I will never be white—
what I am(black and white)will never become who I am.

will never be
will never be

My mother sees me as a
piece of herself as a
piece of her white heritage,
how can I be her but will never be her?

I will never be white and, oh,
oh!—how I use to want to be;
use to want to be in an easier life
use to want to be that girl with straight hair
use to want to be the me I felt inside
the me I thought was good enough—
GOOD ENOUGH
good enough to be white.

will never be
will never be

But I will never be as kind as my blue-eyed-white
brother who has always gave
me whole love and never half
and saw me as I am—his sister.

Nor will I ever be as kind as my brown-eyed-brown
father who will always give
me whole love and never half
and saw me as I am—his daughter.

my green-eyed-mother
my brown-eyed-sisters
i’ll never be wanting me to be more
than who I am—

who I am will stay the same
regardless of what I look like
or what I behave like
or what I am labeled like.
For who I am—thankfully—is not defined by
what I never will be
but by what I already am.

**Printed in the "Lanthorn Literary Edition" 4/12/2010

Happy Hour - shots of common sense

Happy Hour - shots of common sense

By Nicole E. Avery

GVL Columnist
4/11/2010

There are a couple sayings I've always remembered when it comes to drinking: never drink alone and don't drink when you're upset.

Everyone makes mistakes and as cliche of a statement as that is, we all know it to be correct. Another thing we know to be true is that we are responsible for the choices we make and the good, the bad or ugly that might result from that choice.

We do things we are not supposed to do all the time. We lie, steal, cheat and there are consequences for those actions that we're aware of and accept.

So then why, when it comes to college students and drinking, drugs and unplanned pregnancies, do we as a society take the blame from the person who made that specific choice and put it on the of community effort in making general "awareness" more prevalent?

The front cover of the Lanthorn last Thursday talked about college drinking being used as a way for students to deal with stress and one of the experts interviewed put emphasis on the students' actions often being without the knowledge that drinking can lead to addiction and that alcohol is a substance that is easily and often abused.

It was a good article and mentioned the importance of programs that bring awareness to the negative affects of irresponsible decisions through substance and alcohol abuse.

Yet after reading, I felt there is a lack of accountability being put on the college students who make the decision to drink in the first place.

College students by definition of their title are in college to be students -- not party animals. Neither their parents (nor the government for that matter) pay for their education so they can rot their teeth and brain cells away on sweet mixed drinks, hearty vodka blends and deliciously toxic jungle juice.

I also don't believe for a moment there is a lack of awareness to the effects of alcohol.

Alcohol abuse and drinking and driving are among some of the most controversial issues regularly discussed in the media and politics. Warnings and examples of the harmful affects of heavy drinking are prevalent in commercials, ads and in some cases even in our own families and own friends.

There are two things college drinking to relieve stress boils down to: common sense and choice.

Fact: Everyone on a college campus is stressed.

Fact: There are other ways to relieve stress besides drinking until you black out or so often that you get behind on your school work and begin to fail courses.

Since I'm a female writer I'm sure some of you are going to read this and accuse me of trying to "mom" the student body of Grand Valley State University, which I'm not, but you'd probably rather hear this from me than your own mother.

We need to get our stuff together. We're better than vomiting every night in bushes outside of apartment complexes or waking up in a bathtub similar to Ke$ha in "Tik Tok."

Common sense must play a pivotal factor in when people make decisions. You can only use the, "I was young and stupid" card for so long and trust me, it's already gotten old.

navery@lanthorn.com

Yet after reading, I felt there is a lack of accountability being put on the college students who make the decision to drink in the first place.

College students by definition of their title are in college to be students -- not party animals. Neither their parents (nor the government for that matter) pay for their education so they can rot their teeth and brain cells away on sweet mixed drinks, hearty vodka blends and deliciously toxic jungle juice.

I also don't believe for a moment there is a lack of awareness to the effects of alcohol.

Alcohol abuse and drinking and driving are among some of the most controversial issues regularly discussed in the media and politics. Warnings and examples of the harmful affects of heavy drinking are prevalent in commercials, ads and in some cases even in our own families and own friends.

There are two things college drinking to relieve stress boils down to: common sense and choice.

Fact: Everyone on a college campus is stressed.

Fact: There are other ways to relieve stress besides drinking until you black out or so often that you get behind on your school work and begin to fail courses.

Since I'm a female writer I'm sure some of you are going to read this and accuse me of trying to "mom" the student body of Grand Valley State University, which I'm not, but you'd probably rather hear this from me than your own mother.

We need to get our stuff together. We're better than vomiting every night in bushes outside of apartment complexes or waking up in a bathtub similar to Ke$ha in "Tik Tok."

Common sense must play a pivotal factor in when people make decisions. You can only use the, "I was young and stupid" card for so long and trust me, it's already gotten old.

navery@lanthorn.co

Watch out for the big, bad LGBT cliques

Watch out for the big, bad LGBT cliques

By Nicole E. Avery
GVL Columnist
4/4/2010

Remember the cliques and stereotypes we were all so desperately ready to escape when we went to college -- jocks, Barbies, geeks, weirdos and in-betweeners? They are the same cliques our parents faced and the same cliques our own children must tackle.

What I don't remember in high school was the administration fearing the manifestation of cliques into intimidating masses and then tackling that problem by not allowing anyone to socialize.

Cliques are exactly the reason why the LGBT Resource Center is no longer allowing students to "meet-up and socialize" in its lounge area.

The article in the Grand Valley Lanthorn said the LGBT staff has made every effort to comfort students and support them in understanding the changes made to the LGBT Center policies -- what?

Typically, you support someone in a choice they have made, not a choice you force them to make.

What exactly was going on in the LGBT Center that would warrant such a drastic change? Were people actually comfortable socializing in there, enjoying each others' company? Were they freely and openly discussing important issues that would generally be deemed taboo?

I'm describing what should be the function of the LGBT Center. Its whole purpose is to provide resources, space and a safe haven to the LGBT community, and now the groups of people for whom it was meant to be a support system can't even go in there unless they have "official business."

The assistant director of the Grand Valley State University LGBT Resource Center claimed the LGBT Center is still "completely committed to having any conversation that is needed with our students."

Something that was once extremely personal has become as phony and meaningless. I'm really interested in seeing how this policy is going to really play out. Is the LGBT Center going to give a time limit as to how long it's willing to have "conversations" with students and then give them a pamphlet and send them on their way?

What I like about centers such as the LGBT Resource Center and the Woman's Center is their open-door policy, their attentiveness, the accepting, comfortable and safe atmosphere and their willingness to help in any way they can.

What's wrong with having a group of regulars that comes in every Monday to sit down and chat it up, and why would those groups then be deemed intimidating or disruptive?

There's nothing wrong with it. In my mind a newcomer would feel more put off if they see an empty center with tumble weeds blowing by than if they saw a group of cheerful students comfortably conversing with one another.

Perhaps the problem is the center needs to expand and have two separate areas: one strictly for "business" and the other for all of us socialites who just can't help but be friendly.

"Any fool can make a rule and any fool will mind it." -- David Henry Thoreau

navery@lanthorn.com